To be honest, there are no clear cut signs when it comes to having self-sabotaging behavior. Although a lot has been said about the most common indicators of this particular behavior, it will still vary from one person to another. However, if we talk about the disadvantages of having this trait, the affected individuals will normally encounter certain disadvantages. These are presented below.
1. One of the disadvantages of having this type of behavior is that you will never be able to achieve the success that you want to have in your career. Even though you may be equipped with all of the expertise and skills in a particular field, success will never be within your reach because you would rather settle for a job which is mediocre. You may ask why. It is simply because you want to feel safer by not knowing what your career will be and how things will change for you when you succeed.
2. Apart from not having a successful career, another drawback noticed among people who have self-sabotaging behavior is that they tend to cling to unhealthy relationships. They often choose people who do not care for them even if they know that there are others who are willing to treat them better. Furthermore, they also detest being helped by close friends or relatives.
3. The person who has a self-defeating or self-sabotaging attitude usually exhibits a trait of defensiveness. Also, they are incapable or have a fear of expressing their point of view. This will likely show in their relationships with other people. Also, they are unable to say no even if they are aware that they would get hurt or maltreated.
4. Lastly, people with a self-sabotaging behavior are incapable of being intimate with a special someone or their spouse. They may not even have a lasting relationship towards the opposite sex. They are afraid of being rejected. They usually think that nobody cares for them and that they cannot rely on anyone else. These feelings bring about a very low self-esteem which greatly affects the way he or she views life and the world as a whole.
Thinking negatively is one major contributor to this kind of relationship. They often create problems which in turn would sabotage their career or relationships. If you are one of the many individuals who have this kind of attitude, there is still time to change. You just need to admit to yourself that you have a behavioral problem and you must be willing to make the necessary changes in order for you to Achieve*Prosper*Grow.
Luckily there’s plenty of self-help information available to help you. This site alone has 9 articles related to self-defeating, self-sabotaging behaviors. If one of your self-defeating, self-sabotaging behaviors is procrastination; start by downloading this exclusive report for free. I also highly recommend this book: Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
to get you started.